Questioning your cognitive decline
Living with mild cognitive impairment (MCI) or with early stage dementia is a navigation of contradictory emotions with a great deal of an on-and-off state of denial.
Do I have it?
I must have it. I keep forgetting names. That’s all it is, right?
Oh, of course I don’t. Just look at this creative essay I wrote.
It looks like I have mild cognitive impairment, but no one else in the family has it.
This idea is nuts! My thinking is just fine.
I’ve been there with you. I sometimes still doubt my diagnosis of MCI. I received the assessment about 15 years ago, then again, two years ago. But, if I’m taking an accurate look at it the second diagnosis I have to agree. In fact, my symptoms are to the stage of early dementia. But, of course I don’t want to believe it.
It can’t happen to me! I’m too intelligent.
Why denial? What is it that individuals want to disavow?
o Fear of the future
o Embarrassment
o A desire to maintain independence Bingo!
I sometimes still doubt it especially if I’ve had a superb verbal communication day or have written a highly creative story. But perusing the research, it appears I have this darn thing.
MCI and dementia are not mental or emotions illnesses. They are a cognitive disorder. MCI can lead to dementia, but it can last a lifetime.
Cognition involves how we process information, understand the world around us and how we use our minds, sometimes referred to as the mental toolkit which helps us to
o Make sense of the world by interpreting what what we see, hear, taste, touch and smell.
o Understand concepts by grasping ideas like “justice” and “time.”
o Form thoughts and expressing them through language.
o And plan and strategize through thinking ahead and devising steps to achieve goals.
I used to be a “ I am a Winner” girl. “Go Go Go” gal and constant “Get ‘er done” woman. A lunch-buddy, Marge, told me she found a treasure. She was 12 pounds lighter, her skin glowed and her posture was more upright. The key she found, she claimed, was motivational tapes. She absolutely swore by them. Since listening to them she invited the bank manager, where she just started working, to lunch. And requested a job interview from the owner of the largest car company in our city for an unadvertised position. She got the interview but not the job.
So, what do you think I did? Being just a little OCD I began my own practice of those motivational tapes, Rowan, Bixler, et.al. And it worked. But I’m not the same person anymore – someone stole part of my brain.
Step number one is to believe it.
Step two is to accept it.
Step three is to find ways to work around it.
I, like you, bounce around these three pathways. That’s normal. We’re not alone. It occurs in people with cancer, Parkinson’s, osteoporosis, heart disease and other diseases and disabilities. We do the best job we can. And it’s usually a pretty good effort so why don’t we pat ourselves on the back and say good enough for today.
Please remember, you are not alone.
Thanks for stopping by. Have a great, and magical, week.
Till next Monday, or in the chat…
Judi
Just to clarify, I am not a doctor. I am not prescribing any medical, psychological or emotional advice. This newsletter is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are having a medical or psychological problem, contact your physician or a certified therapist for directions. If you are having a crisis call 911 or the emergency number in your country.
“While the final chapter of my life with dementia may be trying, nothing has diminished my gratitude and deep appreciation for the countless blessings in my life.” Sandra Day O’Connor, former U.S. Supreme Court Justice